?

Log in

A Million and Three Ways to Kill [entries|friends|calendar]
iwishyoudead

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[28 Jul 2004|09:22pm]

margimello
I want to take you and every single person who looks, acts, talks, smells, eats, thinks, moves, reads, hears, and breathes like you and put all of you in an 8x10 room, fill the room with honey and drop African red ants in. Once your bones have been stripped of anything that resembles flesh, I'm going to ground your bones into powder and sell your remains to the bad Olsen twin. ARG.
post comment

[29 Jun 2004|09:31am]

margimello
I woke up at 6 to take my car in to get the oil changed. Those fuckers at the shop suck so much. First they wouldn't honor these certificates that my mom bought because their "computers were down". Then they said they couldn't look up my apointment time because their "computers were down". FUCK THAT. I probably could have fixed their computers by restarting it. Why are they so dumb?

I wanted to shove the screwdriver he was holding in his hand up his ass then wipe away his tears with the dirty rag he had in his pocket before using it to choke him to death. Then I'd shove his dead copse into a stack of tires and set it on fire with a blowtorch and roll it down the street.

I shouldn't get up this early anymore.
post comment

[15 Jun 2004|03:10pm]

margimello
I can't even top this:

http://news.independent.co.uk/world/americas/story.jsp?story=531658
post comment

ARG [29 May 2004|09:32am]

margimello
I hope you get chosen to be on a reality dating show where your date consists of dinner and hot tubbing. While in the hot tubbing segment of the show, i hope the heating mechanism shorts out and boils you and your "date". By some freakish coinsedence, you and your date are fused together so they have to bury your new siamese twin in a piano crate.
post comment

DEATH BY INFECTION [17 May 2004|02:00pm]

margimello
I want to stab you in the eye with a used orange stick found on the floor of the rankest, dirtiest nail salon run by snot-rocket launching Vietnamese women. Preferably, this orange stick has been used to clean the cuticles of a diabetic 60 year old woman's swollen, infected, ingrown toenails. I hope the nasty foot fungus seeps into your brain causing it to catch the worlds worst case of athelet's foot leading to your insanity and the eventual death by self-inflicted electric drill wounds to the head.
2 comments|post comment

[28 Apr 2004|08:33pm]

margimello
[ mood | violent ]

I'm going to force feed you paperclips then take a giant electromagnet and run it up and down your spine. After your spinal column is severed and you are a limp quadriplegic, I'm going to invade your loose orifices with my giant nine-inch cocker spaniel.

2 comments|post comment

For my muse and his hatred of Uggs. [31 Mar 2004|11:52pm]

margimello
I hope you take your Uggs camping where an angry herd of sheep catch the sent of their slaughtered brethren, charge you and gnaw your legs off up to the kneecap leaving you bloodied and deformed with no help to be found so that you have to drag your ugly ass to the emergency room by your elbows.

Then, during surgery, I hope you cut a big, stinky one and cause the surgeon to pass out holding the scalpel, impaling you through your worthless, underdeveloped brain.
2 comments|post comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]